10 Guys Who Can Just Go Away

I love sports more than almost everything (I say almost because my wife occasionally reads this). That being said, a lot of what goes on in sports these days drives me insane. I can’t handle all of the peripheral scandals and issues that surround sports these days. I long for a time when we can just sit down and watch sports without having to worry about everything else surrounding the sports. Sports are supposed to be a way to escape obnoxious issues, but now obnoxious issues are overrunning sports. Changing that would be difficult (probably impossible) but here are 10 guys that could help my cause if they would just go away:

Tim Donaghy – You’re a scum referee who made all sorts of bad decisions. You’re not going to save yourself or earn respect by pointing fingers at other officials. Everyone who has watched more than one NBA game in their life knows that the refereeing stinks and favors better teams and players, and that it is kinder to the home game, and changes from the beginning of a game to the end. You have told us nothing we didn’t know, and all you have done is distracted the attention from an interesting and tradition-filled finals.

Plaxico Burress – You’re a decent receiver. You are getting old. You will make $3.5 million a year for the next three years. You are not hard done by or disrespected by that. Shut up and start practicing.

Chad Johnson – You are one of the best in the league when you want to be. Your celebrations are mostly hilarious. Your whining is ridiculous. You only get to whine when your team doesn’t suck, so quit sucking and then we’ll be happy to hear anything you have to say.

Milton Bradley – The guy can hit, but he’s a menace. In his latest outburst he heard something he didn’t like from a Royals TV color commentator, so he stormed out of the dressing room to try to find the guy and beat the hell out of him. I like the guy as a player, but no player is worth as much drama and ridiculousness as Bradley demands.

The Steinbrenner family – Your team sucks because you have managed it badly. Look at teams that win – they all have very good pitching. You used to have a great rotation. You won then. You don’t now. You lose. Shut up and figure it out.

Jim Tressel – This is just a personal thing. I hate Ohio State, I hate that stupid sweater vest, I hate that Michigan seems to have forgotten how to kick Buckeye butt, and I hate that his team keeps embarrassing the best conference in college football in bowl season.

Joe Dumars
– Self-awareness is the key to success in life. You need to look in the mirror, Joe. You have had several of the best coaches in basketball at the helm of your team. None have been good enough for you. Maybe it’s you.

Curt Schilling – You’re an injured, washed up geezer who was once a decent pitcher. You do lots of good things for charity, but why in the world do you think that we should care what you think about everything? Just shut up and get healthy.

Cedric Benson – If you are dumb enough to screw up multiple times and throw away a golden opportunity which is handed to you on a silver platter then I don’t care about you. I picked on Benson here, but there are a disturbing number of guy, mostly but not exclusively in football, who could just as easily have been here in his place.

Danilo Gallinari – This is the Italian punk who has said he will only play in the NBA if he is drafted by a team in New York or New Jersey. I am sick to death of young kids who have proven nothing and may turn into nothing holding teams for ransom. Danilo, Eli, and the rest of you can all go away.

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