In Pursuit of Perfection

There is one team left in the NFL that has a shot at reaching hallowed heights. It is almost impossible to be perfect in the tough, unpredictable, parity-filled league. But one team has the schedule, the talent, the coaching, the management, and that certain je ne sais quoi to go all the way. I’m talking, of course, about the Detroit Lions. Perfect futility is perhaps tougher to achieve than perfect success, but if any team can pull it off it is the Lions. And if they did I think it would be an even bigger accomplishment than what New England did last year.

Depending on the source, statistical analysis has placed the chances of this team going winless somewhere between 9.2 and 11.1 percent. That’s between about 1-in-9 and 1-in-11. That’s not bad, all things considered. Sure, it makes it seem reasonably unlikely, but it isn’t so unlikely that we can’t dare to dream. We can’t yet reasonably bet on the chances, though – Bodog has a winless season at 7/4, far from good value.

I don’t wish ill upon anyone normally, but I desperately want to see a team go winless. The day a team loses their 16th game would be one of those days where I will always remember where I was – like when the first space shuttle blew up. Every time a team gets past halfway without a win I start to get really excited. Mostly that just leads to heartbreak. Like every year, though, I hope that this year is different. It could be, too. Here are four good reasons I am optimistic that this is the year that my prayers are answered:

Schedule – The Lions do not have an easy set of games remaining – there is not a single soft spot. Of the seven teams remaining to be played, only two have records below .500, and Green Bay and New Orleans are only one game below that mark. They face division leaders in Carolina, Tennessee, and Minnesota, and playoff contenders Tampa Bay and Indianapolis. The Lions will underdogs in all of those games, and there isn’t one that stands out as a potential soft spot for Detroit. Anything can happen, but this schedule makes me feel a lot better than if they played St. Louis, Kansas City, or even Seattle. I’d feel even better if four of the games weren’t at home.

Coaching – Rod Marinelli is a guy you can respect. He’s tough, macho, and he has been spouting all the right rhetoric recently – truly inspiring stuff. You’d think that he might just be able to talk his team into a win. That thought scares me. On the other hand, he and his staff are the guys who git this team to where it is, and they have shown nothing that makes us think that they can step their game up down the stretch. Marinelli has the look of an Army general, but his performance shows pretty clearly that he is the type of general that rides a desk, not leads a troop into battle.

Quarterback – If this team had a good quarterback option do you think that they would have signed Daunte Culpepper? If Daunte Culpepper was a good choice, do you think he would have been unemployed in October? This team will not be winning any games thanks to heroics under center.

Defense – Defense wins championships. Or at least games. This team does not play anything resembling defense. They are just one-tenth of a yard away from being the worst defensive team in the league. They are second worst against the run, and only slightly better against the pass. They have given up the second most points per game, and no team lets ther opponents have the ball longer every game than the Lions. I could go on, but the main point is this – this team can’t stop anyone, and that isn’t going to get better as the team gets closer to imperfection.

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