Santa,

I have been a good boy this year, and I am certain that nothing but good boys and girls come to read this site. I’m sure you already know this, but Christmas is tomorrow. I can only assume that you are planning to come to my house tonight. I hope the freezing temperatures and all the snow don’t make it too hard for you – I’d go up on the roof and shovel the snow, but that seems far too dangerous. Anyway, you’ll figure it out, and the milk and cookies will make it worthwhile. To make your job simpler, I thought I’d give you a short list of what I want for Christmas. Remember, I’ve been good…

1. I want the Lions to lose on Sunday. I know it’s not nice to wish hardship on anyone else, but that’s not really what I am doing here. I am wishing for immortality for the Lions. 1-15 is nothing, but 0-16 will never be forgotten.

2. I want Notre Dame to suck at football forever. I know what you are thinking – forever is a long time. I can put a time frame on it if you like – as long as Charlie Weis is in charge. That should be an easy one for you to give me – Weis pretty much takes care of it for you.

3. I want the NFL Playoffs to be thoroughly predictable. I know that might not sound interesting, but there have been a few truly bizarre weeks in the NFL this year, and they have been hard on a lot of bankrolls. A predictable but entertaining playoffs would fatten the wallet right back up.

4. I want two national championships for Michigan. That’s probably a bit much even for someone as powerful as you. I’ll settle for a QB with a pulse, bowl eligibility, and a tournament bid.

I could come up with more, but I know you’re busy, and I don’t want to be greedy. So, thanks in advance, good luck tonight, and say hi to Dasher for me – I love that dude (In a purely platonic way, of course).

Yours,

T.O.